Steve Krull of Wichita, KS, sent us his poetic and witty Toast to the Lassies saying:-

What a great website! Here is my humble submission of a "Toast
to the Lassies" which I gave at the 2002 Burns Supper held in the Usher
Banquet Hall at The Royal Scottish Company, Wichita KS. My lovely wife,
Janie, gave the response, which I am trying to get her to submit also.
Thanks for a wonderful forum on Burns and his impact on the world!

Steve Krull

Janie did consent to submitting her response which can be found here:-
Janie's Response

Toast to the Lassies

Now, here's to the lassies
In skirt, dress and sashies.
The kindest of mankind,
'Til they change their mind!

Then the barbs, like a dart,
go straight to your heart.
From sweetness like sugar,
to "off wi' ya, bugger!"

Then, as quick as you please,
they set your mind at ease.
Everything is all right,
And it's cuddling tonight!

They keep the home fires burning,
and help with the earning.
But, they know the spendin'
and are good at ear bendin.'

They want to talk feelings,
While our senses are reeling.
But what's to explain,
The Chiefs lost again! (substitute any sports team name!)

They keep us in clean shirts,
a pressed kilt for the kirk,
and socks and shorts,
Ah, they're such good sports!

We'd be lost without them,
just don't try to out-pout them!
But they're quick to concede
It's us that they need!

They tolerate our weakness
And our goofi- and geek-ness.
And they're there by our side,
Not just along for the ride.

So, lads, if you please,
Don't get down on your knees.
But stand and raise your glasses,
And we'll toast the bonnie lasses!