To Agnes McLehose (Clarinda)
9th March 1789
Madam
The letter you wrote me to Heron’s carried its own answer in its
bosom: you forbade me to write you, unless I was willing to plead,
Guilty, to a certain Indictment that you were pleased to bring
against me.- As I am convinced of my own innocence, and though
conscious of high imprudence & egregious folly, can lay my hand on
my breast and attest the rectitude of my heart; you will pardon me,
Madam, if I do not carry my complaisance so far, as humbly to
acquiesce in the name of, Villain, merely out of compliment even to
YOUR opinion; much as I esteem your judgement, and warmly as I
regard your worth.—I have already told you, and I again aver it, that
at the Period of time alluded to, I was not under the smallest moral
tie to Mrs B—; nor did I, nor could I then know, all the powerful
circumstances that omnipotent Necessity was busy laying in wait for
me—When you call over the scenes that have passed between us, you
will survey the conduct of an honest man, struggling successfully
with temptations the most powerful that ever beset humanity, and
preserving untainted honor in situations where the austerest Virtue
would have forgiven a fall—Situations that I will dare to say, not a
single individual of all his kind, even with half his sensibility and
passion, could have encountered without ruin; and I leave you to
guess, Madam, how such a man is likely to digest an accusation of
perfidious treachery!
Was I to blame, Madam, in being the distracted victim of Charms
which, I affirm it, no man ever approached with impunity?—Had I
seen the least glimmering of hope that these Charms could ever have
been mine—or even had not iron Necessity—but these are unavailing
words.—
I would have called on you when I was in town, indeed I could not
have resisted it, but that Mr A[inslie] told me that you were
determined to avoid your windows while I was in town, lest even a
glance of me should occur in the Street.—
When I have regained your good opinion, perhaps I may venture to
solicit your friendship: but be that as it may, the first of her Sex I
ever knew, shall always he the object of my warmest good wishes.—
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